Hearts v Hibs 2-1

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Last Sunday was the first-ever Edinburgh derby played outside the top level. The fans didn’t mind and the home end was sold out within minutes. It took Hibs a bit longer to do that, but they also sold all their tickets. A sold-out game in the second tier, where’s the promised Armageddon that would happen when Rangers died? Although Neil Doncaster has the face of a very reliable man (I would trust him all my money), I think he exaggerate it a bit for his hidden agenda to put Sevco back in the top tier. Scottish football will be a better place when he will be a used car salesman again. But back to derby day. Before the game I was invited to a so-called “derby breakfast”. Really great, because my book won’t be about football alone. More about things around the match and the derby breakfast is a good example of that.

When I woke up, I was looking forward to the warm croissants, the scones with clotted crea and triple chocolate muffins. But I was wrong. There wasn’t any of them. It was a healthy breakfast, with beer (hops), cider (apples) and Jägermeister (56 herbs). A very good start of the day. I was introduced to many people, but it was a bit of a let down that only one of them was called Angus and there wasn’t a Hamish in sight. Also no bagpipes, kilts and haggis. I hate it when cliches aren’t true. I think the Scottish where dissapointed as well, as I didn’t brought tulips with me, wasn’t trying to sell drugs and I wore normal shoes, no cloggs.

It was a good breakfast and I almost missed the kick-off. I was sitting at exactly the same spot as the derby in March, where I decided to follow the Hearts for a season. My neighbour even recognized me from half a year ago. In the first half my job was to sober up. I had a bit of a fuzzy head after all that healty stuff. I don’t think the first 45 minutes were good, but I’m not sure. Hibs missed a penalty, that was quite funny. The second half wasn’t great either, but the last 15 minutes were brilliant. Three goals, two red cards and another derby win for Hearts (okay, I’ll try to be neutral this season but that’s hard). So I was quite happy. The best entertainment came from the away end. Some fud wasn’t looking at the game at all, but making gestures to the home fans that they were homosexual by softly touching and stroking his left wrist. I was really good entertainment and they should give the guy a show at the Fringe.

After the game I ended up at The Diggers where most of the “breakfast people” were drinking. I was a bit dissapointed that only two of them knew the difference between Holland and The Netherlands and I must voice doubts about the Scottish schools. At one moment I looked a bit drunk, when I dropped a tray with drinks. But that was because a wee girl took a pint of Strongbow of it and therefore I lost my balance. I ended the evening at the Gorgie Fish Bar, but next morning I saw that I hadn’t touched the food at all. My cats where very hungry and made a lot of noise in the other rooms, I’m such a bad cat lady, I saw a Yes-button on my shirt (upside down, like an Ultra), a pinbadge from Hearts v Zeljeznicar in my pocket and some anti-H1b5 stickers in my sweater. If you’ll see that in the morning, you knew you had a great day. Thanks for everbody I’ve met on Sunday and especially Lee, who invited me to this “breakfast”.

Het was mooi om voor het eerst op mijn vaste plek voor dit seizoen te zitten

This season this will be my view

Veel volk overal. Logisch, want het was uitverkocht

The game was sold out

Zelfs het uitvak, waar de fans van Hibs zaten. Dat hoekje onderin bleef leeg vanwege de Health & Safety-maffia

Even Hibs had sold out

Ik schreef wel Hibs, maar eigenlijk moet ik H1b5 schrijven. De vernietigende overwinning in de bekerfinale is onderdeel van de folklore geworden

They weren’t reminded about the 5-1 at all

Ook nu ging het weer mis voor Hibs: 1-0, een kwartier voor tijd

Today it looked like it would ended in 0-0, but 15 minutes before the end Hearts made it 1-0

En toen volgde er een pingel

Followed by a penalty a few minutes later

Een aantal fans van Hibs trok dat niet en ging al voordat hij genomen werd weg

Some Hibees couldn’t take that and left before it was even taken

En hij vloog er inderdaad in: 2-0

They missed all those lovely 5-1’s in their direction

Dit mannetje trok dat niet en maakte de hele tribune uit voor homo's, door verwijfd op zijn linkerpols te tikken en die te strelen. Hij miste daardoor de mooie 2-1

This guy missed all the goals. He was busy pretending the home fans were gay

Ook nu ging het weer mis voor Hibs. 1-0, een kwartier voor tijd

But for some reason he wasn’t taken very seriously

Er werd veel geboozed en ik werd bij een politieke campagne betrokken

In The Diggers I was getting involved in politics

's Ochtends vond ik een Ys-button op mijn shirt

There was even a Yes-button on my shirt

Maar ik had een hele oogst mee. Leve de derby days

And I had a lot of other stuff, when I searched my pockets


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